It pains me to see so many women entrepreneurs – especially coaches, consultants and service professionals – working long hours building their businesses and servicing their clients, only to find out that they are not making enough money to cover their business and personal expenses.
The reason is simple – most of them are not charging enough to build a sustainable business.
To charge more, and to do so confidently, we have to strengthen our money mindset.
For many women, we were conditioned to be “humble” or “responsible”, often leading us to negate our own needs and encourage codependent relationships with our clients.
Our tendency to be “responsible” may lead to codependency that will cause you not only your sanity but also potentially your business.
In the context of business and money mindset, codependency can show up as:
- Undercharging – you feel responsible for giving everyone access to your service and you have the belief that you can “help more people” by charging less. (You are trying to give everyone your stuff whether they want it or not – and this, is a violation of the other person’s boundary.)
- Over-delivering (e.g. going overtime or providing “out of scope” deliverables without being compensated, writing pages after pages of support emails, “throwing in” extras) – you feel responsible for your clients’ results even though they need to do the work to succeed. Because you feel responsible, you would bend over backwards – compromising your own boundaries in order to “help” that person with the misconception that somehow, you can do the work for your client (By the way, the client may or may not want to be helped in a certain way, so in a sense, you are violating her personal choice.)
- Constantly discounting – you buy into the client’s money stories and somehow made felt responsible that your fee will turn into the cause of her distress so you discount to make yourself feel better. (By the way, you have no rights to decided for the other person what she can or cannot afford… it’s her priority and her decisions to make.)
- Giving away services for free – this is martyr mentality and can turn into victimhood that kicks you off the driver’s seat altogether.
We all know that just reading about “charging more” doesn’t get you very far. If so, we would all be doing it already. It’s one thing to learn about “how to charge more” but it’s another thing to actually DO IT.
What’s in the way? If we know the “how” intellectually, why do we still fall into the codependency trap?
Poor Boundary and Disempowered Voice Rooted In Fears
Simply put, if we don’t get good at saying “no”, we are going to take on everything others lay upon us. We hold ourselves back from speaking up because we are afraid of:
- Rejection or disapproval
- Losing love or not being liked
- Being judged, criticized or exposing our vulnerability
- Being worthless if we don’t constantly “prove” or validate our value
- Ending up with nothing – money, relationships, respect etc.
Understanding why you are afraid of speaking up can help you cultivate the awareness to break the pattern. You can try this 5-minute 6-step process to help overcome your fears so you can empower your voice and reclaim your boundary.
Our Nurturing Nature
We are genetically programmed to be nurturing – particularly for women and anyone who are empathic and choose to work in the “helping profession.” There is nothing wrong with that and I don’t believe we have to “suit up” and “act all Type A” to succeed in business. However, this nurturing instinct may drag us into codependent relationships if we are not mindful of our boundaries.
(If you score high as “Nurturer” in this Sacred Money Archetype Assessment (it’s free!), you may want to pay special attention to the following exercise.)
Answer these questions to help you acknowledge and embrace your nurturing nature, without compromising your boundaries:
- If giving money were not an option for you, what other ways could you help the people who are important to you?
- What are 3 relationships that (often) require your financial support and what would these relationships look like if you were not involved financially? (Watch out for your fears and the assumptions you make.)
- What would your life be like in 3 years, 5, years and 10 years if the support you provided others was not financial?
Through her unique blend of Business + Marketing coaching with a Mindset + Psychic Twist, Ling Wong helps Maverick Entrepreneurs nail their message, claim their superpowers and muster up the GUTS to monetize their Truth.
Ling helps her clients translate their vision, purpose and superpowers into practical strategies, compelling offerings and effective communication that sell, through her intuitive yet rigorous iterative process born out of her Harvard Design School training and 10 years of experience in the online marketing industry.
Find Ling and download her free “Monetize Your Truth” Mindset + Marketing training bundle at http://business-soulwork.com/gift/